Jehovah-jireh, My Provider

I've spent several months now trying to figure out what in the world God is doing with my life. These months have included lots of soul-searching, lots of frustration, some low points spiritually and emotionally, and a true test in my patience. After a year filled with purpose and adventure in Africa, I was forced to slow down and wait on the leading of the Spirit for my next step in life.

So I waited...and waited...and waited. I waited for what seemed to be an eternity, knowing that God had a plan for my life but uncertain of where He was leading me next. My heart was torn between returning as soon as possible to Africa or staying home and continuing to be there for my mom and dad as my dad fights for his life. To make matters more confusing, in the midst of my soul-searching I sensed that God was calling me back to Africa and had a purpose for me there. At the same time, I felt like to abandon my family at a time like this would be disobedience. In the midst of all this confusion, I found it really hard to trust God--to trust that He knew what He was doing in my life and that He had a plan.

This past weekend I was at a spiritual retreat, and I heard from the Lord in powerful ways. The most impacting thing I heard from God was this:

"Adam, My plans for you are better than your plans for you."

Wow. Here I have been, running around trying to put together my own goals in life and set into motion my own plans, and I've honestly failed miserably in those efforts. I want my life to count for the kingdom, but that starts by allowing the King to call the shots. As I'm learning to come to grips with that reality, I'm again realizing what it means to die to myself. When I give my future over to God, I'm allowing him to reshape my desires and my dreams. And in doing so, my life will look significantly different than it would have been if I continued to be the one in charge. But at the same time I know that this "new life" will be so much better--so much more fulfilling--because it will be for Him and not for me.

So the Lord has led me to two unlikely places that were never a part of my plans. Through his unmistakable leading, God has brought me to Granger Missionary Church, where I've accepted a position as their interim worship leader. At GMC, the Lord has provided a place for me to use the talents in music He has blessed me with, serving the body of Christ in leading them before the throne in worship each week. Having been there for a few weeks now, I feel like the Lord has anointed me for that position.

While I'm passionate about leading others in worship, more than anything my heart continues to beat for impacting the lives of young people. Over the past couple years, I've also felt the Lord drawing me more and more to at-risk teens--to the kids that face poverty, broken families, lack of education, addictions, and abuse. In light of those passions, the Lord has provided a full-time job for me as a teacher at the Crossing Educational Center--an alternative Christian school for at-risk teens. Honestly, I never would have imagined myself as a high school teacher, but I sense that this job will be perfect for me at least for this period of my life. I seriously feel so blessed right now.

In the words of the old chorus:

"Jehovah-jireh, my Provider, His grace is sufficient for me..."