My Dream Life

I've been in my new house for about a month now, and still the boxes are piled high as I slowly sort through all of my "stuff." I've been known to be quite a packrat, and I have recently discovered boxes upon boxes filled with every single paper and assignment from kindergarten through college...ridiculous, I know. While sorting through these boxes (and forcing myself to throw much of it away), I ran across a paper from 8th grade that peaked my interest. This particular paper was entitled "My Dream Life." Now, I must warn you that what you are about to read is utterly pathetic and hilarious and sad, all at once. Here it is...uncensored and unedited...from the eighth-grade mind of MaxAC...

My Dream Life

I have many goals and dreams that I would like to accomplish in my life. Some of them may seem unrealistic, but it never hurts to dream. In this paper I will talk about what I would like to do in the rest of my life.

I plan on attending Penn High School next year [check]. I will go there for four years [check], and I want to do many things there. I want to play wide receiver in football for all four years I'm at Penn [check...also DB]. By the time I am a senior, I would like to be a starter on the varsity team [by junior year, check]. I also want to win a state championship in football while I am at Penn [check], which isn't uncommon for Penn football! Also, I want to play basketball at Penn for all four years I am there [check]. By the time I am a junior or senior, I want to be starting on the varsity basketball team at either point guard or shooting guard [shooting guard, check]. I also want to get straight A's for every year that I am at Penn [check], and I want to earn my high school diploma [check]. During high school I will get a job to save up some money for when I am an adult [haha, nope].

I want to go to a big college like the University of Notre Dame, Indiana University, or Purdue University [nope]. I don't know exactly what college I want to go to, but I want it to be in this part of the country [check]. It doesn't necessarily have to be in Indiana, though. I would like to earn a full-ride basketball scholarship [college was pretty darn close to free] to whatever college I attend because basketball is my favorite sport [that changed], and it is the sport that I am the best at [also changed]. I want to attend college for four years [check] and major in business managing or something similar to that [nope]. While in college I would find a job close to the campus so that I could save up more money for after I graduate [check].

After I graduate I will be in no debt [check] because I got a full-ride scholarship to college. I would move to a large condominium on the Atlantic Ocean in Miami, Florida [From this point on, life gets ridiculous]. There I would work for a year or so as a waiter or something to save up enough money to start my own business. I don't really know what kind of business I will start, though. It would start off small but within a year would grown and become famous nationwide. I would be making millions and millions of dollars a year. Eventually my company would go worldwide.

While living in Miami I would meet a woman, preferably with blonde hair and blue eyes, but I'm not that picky. She would be smart, good looking, and a very nice person. We would date for a couple of years and then we would get engaged. After about another year we would get married. I'd let her plan our wedding and everything because I don't really care as long as we just get married. All our family and friends would come, though.

We would buy a huge ten-story house right on the Atlantic Ocean in Miami. In our house, there would be a gym with four full-court basketball courts. There would also be a full workout gym and an inside and outside olympic size pool. Also, there would be an elevator so we didn't have to walk ten flights of stairs. We would also have our own private beach out by the ocean.

After a few years of being married we would decide to have kids. We would have four kids. First, we would have two boys. Then we would have two girls. I don't have any idea what I would name my kids. I guess I would let my wife decide that. All four of my kids would be very smart. They would also be very talented at many sports.

I would have several cars. First, I would buy a Ford Mustang convertible. Next, I would get a red Porsche. Then I would buy a new bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle for my wife. After that I would get myself a black Mercedes Benz. Next, I would get a big Lincoln Navigator. Also, I would buy a while Ferrari. Then I would get a red Jaguar. I would also have two stretch limousines for special occasions. One would be white, and the other one would be black.

I would take my family on a lot of vacations. We would go to Hawaii for at least two weeks every year. I'd also take my family to Jamaica, the Bahamas, Australia, Paris, Cancun, Switzerland, England, and we would travel to nearly every state across the United States. We would also take cruises all over the world because I would own my own cruise ship. Also, we would frequently go to San Francisco, California because I would own a huge condominium there right on the Pacific Ocean.

I would try my best not to spoil my kids even though I would have enough money to do so. My wife and I would teach our kids Christian morals and values, and we would take our kids to church every week. I would never let them drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs, or anything like that. Since my kids would be very smart they would all go to Harvard and graduate there. When I am about 55 I would retire and turn my business over to my two sons. When I was retired I would buy a Cadillac, and my wife and I would travel all over the world for the rest of our lives. I would want to die at about age eighty because I would not want to be so old that I could not take care of myself and would have to go to a nursing home.

This is my dream life. Like I said earlier, these goals and dreams may seem very unrealistic, but the higher goals you set for yourself the more you will accomplish in life.

Wow...pretty shallow and ugly and pathetic and sickening and American, huh? My question for the few of you who are still reading is this: If you could go back ten years, what piece of wisdom or advice would you give to the 14-year-old MaxAC?

Leave me a comment below!