Fifty-(Two) Nifty United States?

I've recently uncovered a bizarre glitch in South Africa's education on world geography. My South African friends are often boasting (or whining) that Americans know very little about African history and geography. And, for the most part, I tend to agree with them. I honestly never remember learning a single thing about Africa in geography classes growing up, and the only part of African history that I remember learning was focused more on the history of American slaves. In high school, I remember watching the movie Roots and reading Things Fall Apart, a brilliant novel by Nigerian author Chinua Achebe. That was the extent of my African studies. So, I'm forced to agree with my South African friends about the ignorance of Americans when it comes to Africa.

At the same time, I like to flip the table on these same friends and grill them on American history and geography. While most Americans would probably recognize that they don't know much about Africa, several of my South African friends think they know everything about America, simply because of all the American movies they've watched and the fact that, even in Africa, America dominates the world news. What I've found is that most Africans are equally as ignorant in their knowledge of America.

Take one friend of mine (who, for his sake, will remain anonymous), who thought that Obama was the president of both North America and South America. I tried to explain to him that those were two entirely separate and VERY different continents, with many nations and many different presidents, but I quickly gave up as I realized how much his geography teachers had failed him.

And then, my personal favorite. This is a real conversation that I had with one of my South African friends...

How many states do you think there are in the United States of America?, I asked.

Fifty-two, Wayne boldly and confidently answered. I started cracking up laughing.

Nope. There's only fifty, I replied.

He started getting defensive.

No, man, there's fifty states on the mainland. You're probably forgetting about Alaska and Hawaii.

Again, his confidence was shocking, as he tried lecturing me in American geography. Our other South African friends chimed in, backing Wayne's answer. (Apparently they all had been taught in school that there were fifty-two states as well!).

Trust me, bro, I'm not forgetting about Alaska and Hawaii. There are forty-eight states on the mainland; Alaska and Hawaii make forty-nine and fifty.

I proceeded to explain that there was a reason we have FIFTY stars on our flag, and then I proudly burst into the chorus of the song FIFTY Nifty United States (anybody else remember learning that song in elementary school?).

But not to be outdone, Wayne responded with dry sarcasm:

Oh, now I remember. You have fifty states...plus Iraq and Afghanistan! That makes fifty-two!

Touché, my friend. Touché...